Somebody To Love
This is something I once believed, and see a number of women and men alike saying all the time.
- “I would be happy if I had a girlfriend.”
- “I would be happy if I had a boyfriend.”
- “I would be happy if I had a wife.”
- “I would be happy if I had a husband.”
The truth is, many of us dream of finding someone to share our lives with. We also tend to tend to believe that having that one person somehow defines our value as a person or the quality of our lives.
The Truth About Marriage
Marriage is not the fairy tale that is often painted, nor is it by any means, a joke. It is a serious matter. It is also a lifelong commitment that is made not only between two people to one another but between two people and God.
The purpose of marriage is to Glorify God.
When we marry another person with expectations for a life of happiness, we are going to be met with disappointment. We tend to forget these truths about marriage.
- There will hard times.
- There will be sickness.
- There will be disagreements.
- There will be difficult decisions.
- There will be compromise.
- There will be tears.
- There will be sacrifice.
Happiness is not found in a person, or a relationship. Happiness is found in Christ.
Psalm 62:5New International Version (NIV)
5 Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
my hope comes from him.
Jeremiah 17:5-7New International Version (NIV)
5 This is what the Lord says:
“Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who draws strength from mere flesh
and whose heart turns away from the Lord.
6 That person will be like a bush in the wastelands;
they will not see prosperity when it comes.
They will dwell in the parched places of the desert,
in a salt land where no one lives.
7 “But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
I Can Change Him or Her.
Have you ever looked at a loved one’s suffering and wanted nothing more than to fix it? Have you seen someone you care for make an error and wish somehow to make it right?
Sometimes, I think this is especially true of women. As nurturing comes naturally to women, it is not strange that this same care might apply to fixing what we feel to be broken or in need of mending.
It is when we, be we man or woman, look to change our spouses that we invite another of Satan’s lies into our marriage.
We, husbands and wives, do not change our spouses. God does if we let Him.
When we become fixated on changing others we:
- We become frustrated
- We begin to resent the ones we love
- We become angry with God
- We nag and ridicule our loved ones for their faults
Proverbs 19:13 New International Version (NIV)
13 A foolish child is a father’s ruin,
and a quarrelsome wife is like
the constant dripping of a leaky roof.
Proverbs 21:9New International Version (NIV)
9 Better to live on a corner of the roof
than share a house with a quarrelsome wife.
When we do these things the ones we love become defensive, resistant, as well as bitter, and distant.
The best tools a wife, and perhaps even a husband can use in marriage come in two forms.
- Living a Godly Life
I remember a time when I was angry with God. My faith, thanks be to him…came in the form of a God fearing man, who had the patience to minister to me. I have no doubt he may even have prayed for me.
Today, I call this man husband.