Love Me, Do As I Say

Love Me, Do As I Say

The norms of marital roles are all about political correctness. We see it more and more now.  Men are coming home to take care of home, wife, and child. Women are becoming entrepreneurs and businesswomen. Likewise, we see it in our media.

Have you watched Divorce Court?

I confess I have been a consistent watcher.  Why is that important?

The answer lies in how we see marriage.  One of the most popular reasons I have witnessed marriages crumble is:

He Or She Does Not dD What I Want.

In other words, He or She does not serve me.

The Great Misconception

In today’s society, it is becoming more common place for husbands and wives to measure the value of their marriage based on the manner in which their spouse measures up to their expectations. It is a contest about who does more for the other. Instead of loving, honoring, and committing to one another it has turned into an all out anything he can do she can do better contest.

The lie husbands and wives are buying into today is:

My husband is supposed to serve me.

My wife is supposed to serve me.


The Roles of Husband and Wife

The husband has many roles. He acts as:

  • The Head of the Household –  (Ephesians 5:23 ESV) For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.
  • Provider –  (1 Timothy 5:8 NIV) Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
  • Father and Mentor – (Ephesians 6:4 NIV) Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Nowhere in scripture does it say he is to dominate, control, or abuse his wife. 

The wife too has many obligations in addition to those we are most familiar.  She is not only submissive to her husband out of love and respect, neither is she merely a breeder, she acts as:

  • A Helper –  (Genesis 2:18 ESV) Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
  • A Support, An Anchor, Council, and Friend –  (Proverbs 31:10-12 ESV) A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. 11 Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. 12 She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. 
  • A Homemaker – (Proverbs 31:13-16 ESV) She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. 14 She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. 
    15She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. 16 She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings, she plants a vineyard.

Wives are not mentioned in scripture as stock, but treasures.  For that is what she is to be unto her husband and children, someone precious.

No Greater Calling Than To Serve

As each of us is called to be a light, as Christ was a light unto the world, the most amazing thing any one of us can do is serve.

Jesus served as a living sacrifice, free of sin and without blemish when He walked that long trek to the cross at Calvary. He did not have to do it. He could have chosen to walk away. Yet, because His love is so great, He paid the ultimate price. His only command that we love God with our entire being, and that we do this by loving one another.

This is how we should look upon our commitments to one another. It is also how we should love one another.

John 15:13 NIV

Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.












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