Throwing In The Towel

Throwing In The Towel

There is nothing more devastating to a marriage than the possibility of divorce. Too many of us, enter into a marriage with false illusions and expectations of what the union should be. We forget, or do not acknowledge one simple truth:

The Only Place Where People Live “Happily Ever After” Are Fairy Tales.

Any marriage, even a good marriage is going to be hard.


Speaking From Experience

I have been blessed to be married to a wonderful man. We will be celebrating thirteen years come this November.  I would like to say it has all been smoothing sailing but like any relationship, our marriage has weathered its share of ups and downs.

In almost thirteen years I have experienced:

  • slammed doors
  • harsh words
  • financial hardship
  • unemployment
  • sickness
  • loss or death
  • ignorance
  • disrespect
  • fear

But for each of these hardships, I have also known:

  • forgiveness
  • compassion
  • patience
  • joy
  • comfort
  • peace
  • hope
  • respect
  • acknowledgement
  • acceptance
  • trust
  • faith
  • strength
  • courage

Taking Offense 

Ladies, our husbands are going to do things that upset us. Gents, your wives are going to do things that drive you crazy.

Brace yourselves your husbands or wives are going to:

  • Show up late 
  • Forget to call
  • Promise to see their folks over a holiday when you had plans to see your own
  • Volunteer you to do things or be somewhere without speaking to you first

And many other things that you will take offense at.

These things might seem small, even trivial. They can be if we choose to forgive and let it go. However, when we do not, that is when these tiny things become huge problems as we start to fall prey to misconceptions about our spouses.

  • He/She is inconsiderate.
  • He/She does not care about my feelings.
  • He/She is impossible to live with.
  • He/She will never change.

When we open the door to such lies about our husbands or wives, we open ourselves to some other dangerous deceptions.

  • I would be happier if I were married to ——-
  • ———- is so much more thoughtful and considerate. He/She doesn’t treat his/her husband/wife that way.
  • If he/she would do ——– I would not ——–
  • If my husband/wife does not love and respect me the way I want or need, I can leave him/her.

Compound Hurt and the Bitter Consequences

Years of disappointment, if not dealt with in a godly way, can lead a person to rationalize things they might never have thought themselves capable of believing. Likewise, it would also enable them to justify choices that they thought they would never make.

When we believe that another person can better meet our needs, and make us happier than our spouse, we will open the door to the possibility that there is better out there. Sometimes those thoughts can lead us to feel that it is alright to look for what we are lacking elsewhere and in turn, bring in the most faithful of husband or wife to have an affair.

This is but one of many deceptions we can fall prey to, and one of many disastrous outcomes.

The only way to be set free of the lies and the temptation is to reject the deception from its conception.

The Truth

There is NO marriage God cannot heal. There is NO person that God cannot change.

Mark 11:25 NIV (New International Version)

25 And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.


Matthew 5:44 NIV (New International Version

44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you


Matthew 18:21-22 NIV (New International Version)

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?” 
22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
God’s grace Is sufficient enough to Enable You to be faithful to your mate and to love and forgive without limit.
2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV (New International Version
9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.








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